To be mere aquaintance Im ok. To foster really close relationships with people is where I realise that Im moving in the wrong direction. I used to think that by being the most basic of any human being can be, I can get closer relationships, be it family, frens, lovers or mistresses. Yet this is not the case. I feel recently Ive just grown up within a short period of time. Ya i noe, its mentally, not physically. Its like, I finally know how cock up I am as a human being. My deep inner feelings were shown to the world. And it's ugly. Knowing the mistake, I tried to change. But instead, my way of thinking got even worse. In this complicated world, being urself and potray poor attitude is better than acting like one perfect being. Being the person ure not will just hinder you. I experience it first hand. And I dunno who this tree guy is. I nv had a plant during my childhood days. haiz.
