"Congratulations, you passed.."

I knew I was never in her good books. She thinks Im dumb or stubborn or something. I thought I did ok overall for CA since alot of effort was put in. And patients' comments to me really spurred me on to give a better service. I really could click with them. Anything they wanted, I tried my best to provide for them. Anything that they didnt want, I would gladly obliged, if it doesnt compromise the patients. But that proved fatal. This patient didnt want to bring up his cotside cuz it's troublesome, but I told him it was dangerous, but he still insisted I not put down the cotside. So I didnt, since I knew he could walk and all. And so my CI spotted me doing that. And just cuz of that, she said I wasnt safety conscious.

I clean the patients everyday. Without fail. Cuz I knew what it's like to feel not bathing especially when patients sometimes could'nt help dirtying the beds cuz they couldnt control the bowel movement or urine. So this one time I washed this freakingly dirty uncle using gloves, along with the AN who was also using gloves. My CI saw that and then she said I lack empathy. As in no feelings for people. Wtf man..why must she say until like that? The patient didnt say anything..yet she kao pei so much. In fact the patient even said thank you. What is wrong with my Cf..Fuck..

She then saw us personally at the end of the day. So i went into the room. She talked to me. She emphasized my downfalls. And she went blah blah blah. I tried to explain, but then she added that Im a negative person..taking feedbacks negatively. Woah..now it was even worse. Added more insults when I tried to explain to her. When she gave me the small book back, she said congrats, you got 53 marks.

I was so shocked. It's like as if I didnt do anything. So fucking annoyed. The 4 weeks of hard work and passion was rewarded with a D.which is a pass.. What an unfair world we live in. I havent even include the part where she talked about my lack of communication skills.

The marks given doesnt justify the things that I did. But it was sad she released the marks at the end of our CA. I could have act out what she thought of me. At least I wouldnt be this sad and bitter...

On a positive note, at least the Ca has ended and the holiday's coming. I hope I wouldnt get that ward next time.