End of attachment

Its finally over. The three weeks isnt that much of a hell afterall. With good staffs and the especially CI around, who would'nt feel so. I can say for the first time that I went out of the ward having mixed feelings. The feelings of sadness and happiness.

Maybe compared to other attachments that I had last time, this is one of the rare times that I felt the warmth and friendliness of the environment. Except for a few fucked up nurses and patients, everyone was so nice, especially the newly graduated ones. In fact they taught me more than the lao jiaos there. The sister didnt even bring me down when I slide around with the food trolley. She just smiled with such warmth only a son can feel from his mother. OKlah, joking, she's not that super duper unreasonably nice, but confirm can make it lah. Maybe this is a possibility why I came out with good feelings.

Or is it maybe the CI. She was super duper nice. I dunno what she thinks in her brain, but she takes everything with laughter and seriousness all at the same time. I dunno how she could tolerate it when someone was sleeping in front of her while teaching us chest tube thingy and then could still ask that someone why he did that without even raising her voice. If I were her Ill just use the trocar and stuff it straight into his eyeballs right through his empty skull so he would shut his eyes for the rest of his life. No, she being so nice, just laughed it off asked him not to do that in the future and continued teaching. And she does her work, compared to other CIs I had previously. She puts in the effort to print out worksheets for us, to lecture us on our practicals and giving us learning opportunities. I greatly respect her. Except for the marks she gave me, I think shes the perfect CI so far.

Or is it the fasting month coinciding with the attachment. It was a real test for me. Especially the afternoon shift. I couldnt eat nor drink nor think dirty things nor swear nor touch girls while standing the whole day helping out the patients. It was tough, especially with a fucked up stomach like mine. People could see how I struggled with that. But I guessed I push on hard and Im proud I didnt even stop fasting on any of the day. Maybe this made me feel good going out the ward knowing that I have accomplish more than just clinical skills and patient support. and hence the mixed feelings.

Or it it the attachment mates that I got? Surely, after being with them all my lives in attachment, I get to noe them better. We could joke about anything there. We helped each other there. We covered our mistakes for each other there. We even shit in our pants together there. Yes, thats how strong our team spirit was. And it would be so so so so so so so so boring without them around.

I may feel happy leaving the place, but I certainly do not regret not going to TTSH cuz for once I can finally say attachment in NUH isnt that sucky afterall.

P.S: Wenya, chill about the lost phone. Its just a half naked pic of me in it. I can post for you another time. HAHAHAHAHHA..OKok, on a serious note, I hope you manage to get all ur contacts back and also hope that you had a gud dinner with us even though ur day sucked. And Ill miss ur "unique" laughter.. =)